||[Nov. 9th, 2008|08:38 pm]
Cable x Deadpool
Summary: Nathan has chased Wade off.
Note: beta'd by the incomparable reddqueen, with thanks to her and the creators of the magnificent series for not hunting me down and suing me for doing Naughty Things with their characters.
He’s sleeping, you think.
Or he’s sitting in front of a TV at—what time is it in New York or San Francisco?—you aren’t sure you really want to know.
He is polishing his swords or cleaning his guns—or doing a host of other things you’ll never hear him ramble about. Not now, o no.
It is easy to wonder about him in the abstract, harder to think about what he may actually be doing, and the hardest, still, to consciously acknowledge—that he is doing it so far away from you.
(You have the fleeting hope that he is remembering everything the way you do—but the forced oustings, the public humiliation, and the manipulation and lies tell you otherwise.)
You think about her, the woman you had found so captivating. But it has been too long. That spark is gone and although you loved her once, you know you can’t do it again. Not the same way.
But you will try. You will make a noble, yet doomed attempt to rebuild your relationship with her, knowing that she distrusts you, knowing she thinks you’re no more than a hair away from being a monstrous dictator, on par, possibly, with Stalin and his ilk.
You are sure of yourself, but you can only pretend for so long that her distrust doesn’t hurt you.
Second-best. You start to wonder if she’s only maintaining a façade of a relationship to keep tabs on you—but you know you shouldn’t even have to ask. The answer is too obvious.
She is waiting for you to make a mistake.
(You hope—desperately, for one aching moment—that he is only waiting for you to apologize.)
And maybe he is. But he’ll come back, you think—he will, because he always has.
You entertain yourself with the thought that he would still be there waiting for you after she’d satisfied her curiosity about his motives and left, but you know it was never about Wade leaving—no.
This time he was driven away.
And you did it.
(But perhaps most jarring is the realization that now—maybe more so than ever possible before—you both know that he realizes that he doesn’t need to come back.)