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Cable x Deadpool

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...If You Show Me Yours (2/3) [Apr. 6th, 2008|07:45 pm]
Cable x Deadpool


[Current Location |home]
[music |david attenborough]

Title: ...If You Show Me Yours (2/3)
Rating: NC-17 overall, this part PG-13. Next part will be NC-17 pr0n.
Word Count: 3069
Warnings: Comic book knowledge may not be entirely accurate. Marvel is complicated, and I don’t know enough about it. I’ll just ignore continuity, and hence any glaring errors are AU. Plus Nate is so much harder to write than Deadpool. DX DX.

Previous part here: http://community.livejournal.com/cabledeadpool/25253.html#cutid1

Nate finally wakes Wade up by emptying a glass of water over his head. The merc sits up spluttering, glaring at him. “What was that for?!”

Nate ignores him, reaching down to pull Wade to his feet. “I think this pretty much confirms it,” he says unhappily. “We’ve swapped powers. And that’s not good news for either of us.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Wade replies, drying himself off with Nate’s bunched up T shirt grabbed from the floor. “If you teach me how to use it, TK would be a pretty cool power. Give me an excuse to go steal Marvel Girl’s costume again. Maaaan, I loved those panties.”

Nate does his best to ignore the incredibly disturbing image. After all Marvel Girl is sort of his mother, and that’s not a picture he wants in his head. “Wade, think about it for a second. If I’ve got your healing factor, what’s fighting your cancer.”

Wade drops the shirt. “Oh shit.”

“Yeah.” Now if only Nate knew how this had happened... Even taking into account technology from the future, he’s never heard of something like this. And it seems a little... haphazard... to be something one of his enemies might have thought up. Not that Wade doesn’t have plenty of enemies too, but they’re more the kind of people who would take revenge with a bullet or blade. This feels like magic.

“So... we’re in deep shit then...” Wade says. “And what about your arm? Didn’t you say part of what kept the virus from taking over was your TK? I mean, it might not be the same with that little baby alien, but the author did say she was ignoring continuity, so...” A thought seems to occur to him. “Hey, maybe you’ll turn into that machine-you I met in that other dimension! That’s be pretty cool – I was totally digging those tentacles. And it would make for some interesting sex...” Wade gives him the sort of look that can only be described as really disturbing, although, Nate thinks, there is something oddly beguiling about the idea... He shakes that from his thoughts quickly. There’ll be time to entertain their kinks later, but right now, they need to work out what’s happened to them. Wade has a point; one he’d been trying not to think about. There’s no way of telling how this will have affected his techno-organics, and although he’s sure he could fight the alien’s mind off again – it’s only his powers that have gone, not his ability to deal with psychic pain – he would rather not try when there’s not that much time to fix this.

“We need to work out what caused this,” he tells the merc, finding his clothes from the night before and starting to dress. “And that means we’re going to have to leave the room sooner or later.”

“Yeah, alright, but how? As I’m constantly reminded by this persistent damp feeling from you chucking water on me, I don’t exactly deal well with your stupid telepathy.”

Nate sighs. “If we can get to another telepath maybe they can help you shield your thoughts... erect a mental barrier...” He pauses, seeing Wade’s grin. “What?”

“You said erect.”

Nate rolls his eyes. “Comments like that prove that you’re far more immature than I am.”

Wade’s grin gets bigger. “Whatever. It’s still funny.” His eyes widen as a thought occurs to him. “Emma Frost! I hardly got to see that hot chick when I was working for the X-men. Not that you’re not hot too Nate, but she’s got great...”

“I’m sure there are other telepaths out there that would be willing to help us,” Nate interrupts, trying not to sound amused. “I’m not sure whether my father has forgiven me yet for my last plan.”

“You mean your big Jesus-martyr-suicide thing.” Wade nods. “Guess not. And I might have kind of betrayed them a little bit too when I sided with you. But how many other good telepaths do we know?”

“Not that many. And we need to find someone who knows about magic.”

“You think magic is what’s causing this trippy little setup? I just thought it was a plot device?”

Nate chooses to ignore this last comment. “If we’re going, you need to get dressed.”

“So we are going to see Emma Frost?” Wade asks hopefully, picking up his Deadpool spandex. He pulls it on quickly. Nate can’t help admiring its close fit along the hard planes of his muscles, appreciating it all the more for having seen his body naked.

“Yes, alright. At least we can trust the X-men. After all, I haven’t appeared to be planning on world conquest lately.”

Wade shrugs. “Ahhhh, but I enjoyed those old world conquest days.” Another grin as he pulls the mask down over his face. “What is your latest plot by the way?”

“I can’t say.” Nate hands him the harness rig from where it’s draped over a chair. “You could always stay here you know. Just until we figure out what’s going on...”

“What, and miss my chance to take another look at the famous Emma Frost and her massive ti-“

Nate coughs. “Okay. I don’t know how long it’ll take for her to set up a mental barrier to protect your mind, but we can bodyslide back here any time.”

Wade waves a gun at him negligently before slipping it into its holster. “It’ll be fine Prissy.”


Of course, it’s not fine. Really not. The moment they arrive Wade’s head is splitting, but he’s expecting it this time, is ready for it, sorta. Still, being ready doesn’t help much. His mind is being attacked by voices, stray thoughts flittering about like butterflies on LSD; pictures, words, whole scenes, like the kaleidoscope of his own twisting mind before Nate went and messed around with it, but multiplied by ten, no, a hundred. Also like some of that really weird TV from the Seventies. But then they had the excuse of actually being on drugs.

Ah, fuck it hurts. He doubles over in pain, would probably have collapsed if not for Nate’s arm supporting him. Mmn, nice TO texture. He tries to concentrate on it, but even that’s not easy. Nate’s talking, that strangely attractive know-it-all tone of voice he gets sometimes... Someone else answers, but he can’t really think about sight right now, just the white-out pain in his head, and all those goddamn voices!

He vaguely hears the voice – Cyclops? – asking what’s wrong, but now... hey, that’s kind of cool, he thinks, because he can feel inside his head – far stronger than the actual voice which is just like a whisper in amongst all the other shit – the sensation of anger, perhaps mixed with a little fear, and a lot of trepidation, and since when has he even known long words like that...? Damn telepathy, he thinks, sticking other people’s thoughts in his head. Now how does he get it to work the other way around? Broadcasting some heavy psychic pain into One-Eye’s head sounds like a great idea right about now.

Nate says something, and they’re moving. Well, in Wade’s case it’s more like stumbling, but whatever. Good ol’ Nate must have convinced Summers and whoever else is there – feels like three people? That’s not including Nate, who is big and blocky and somehow like thinking at a black hole, and he’s just not used to seeing in all these mental directions, like being ripped apart at the seams, but hell, he’s felt like that before sometimes and kept functioning; he isn’t going to let G. I. Jesus’ telepathy get the better of him.

The flickering thoughts are getting worse... What the hell is he doing here – new downloads for Halo 3, fuckin’ ace man - why does Cable have to bring him here – ‘I’m Fucking Ben Affleck’ has got to be on YouTube – why are they even friends? – can’t believe he wore that outfit last night – Cable’s actually kind of hot – does Scott really believe that bullshit story, swapping powers my arse... Just too many voices! Wade might be the master of inane chatter, but it’s a lot less fun when he can’t shut it up! And anyway, who the hell was that thinking about Nate, Nate belongs to him now...

Really. A cold, calm voice.

Wade raises his head weakly, blinking to try and get the increasingly blurry world to focus. “Yo... Emma Frost.”

The unfocused figure – damn, can’t really see her finer features –looks down at him, hands on hips. She’s still pretty fit, even if she is a bit fuzzy. “I’m not going to ask about that thought.”

“Good,” Wade manages. “Cos... don’t ask... don’t tell... right.” That little slogan always makes him think what Mr. Nate Jesus Patton would look like in uniform, which would be a really great thought worthy of future contemplation if his head didn’t feel like someone had taken a pot shot at it and not missed.

Elegant fingers touch his temples through the mask, and he feels the contact of another mind on his. It’s actually kinda creepy, especially because Emma is cold, but then, she’s like her name right? A mental shiver. Chilly. You’re really messed up in here, her voice says, a hint of schadenfreude tinting the edges. I’m surprised you’re even conscious. Yeah, chilly like ice-cream. Mmmm, Ben and Jerry’s.

Yeah, well so am I, he says.

Wade isn’t sure exactly what Emma’s doing, but it helps. It’s like building mental walls out of ice and sheer control and how does Nate cope? Yeah, it sucks to be Nate, and that’s not something he ever thought he’d say. It’s done eventually, and snow-cold Emma Frost slips out of his mind, leaving him shivering and wanting to attach himself to a radiator with superglue and duct tape. It’s a hell of a lot better than before though.

“Nice,” he says, “I wouldn’t normally say thanks, but... thanks.” He’s aware of Nate standing close by him and, blinking, his eyes focus on the other people in the room. Cyclops, of course, smart-ass though he is, and Beast and Wolverine. All the old crew then. Well, Wolvie makes sense; a good idea to have someone else with a healing factor in case a certain mercenary turned out to be unfriendly. As if he would. Well actually, of course he would, but still... Anyway it’s not as if he would risk it now that he’s minus one healing factor. He can still feel them in his head, sort of, but now it’s without the pressure of their thoughts, and the thoughts of everyone else in the area. Man, people are noisy inside their heads.

“So...?” Cyclops asks Emma. Wade can see her nice and clearly now, and mmmmmmmm, she’s lookin’ good. No offense Nate, but it’s gotta be said.

She nods. “They’re telling the truth. It appears that somehow, Cable and Deadpool have traded abilities.”

“An’ now we’ve sorted your buddy’s head out, maybe you’re gonna tell us what the hell you think we can do about it,” Wolverine growls, his arm folded across his chest, reeking of aggression. I’m not scared of you, Wade thinks mulishly, glaring at him. So no healing factor, but he could still take him. Maybe throw him across the room with his mind if he ever works out how to use the TK thing.

Nate’s left hand is resting on Wade’s shoulder, the heavy metal presence somehow comforting. “I need to know who I should talk to about magic,” he says.

“You think that’s what caused this?” Beast asks, professional curiosity obviously aroused. Hah, you said aroused, Wade tells his thoughts, happy to know that his brain is still as immature as ever, despite lacking that shifting cellular structure. Man, but that’s a mouthful. Perhaps he could shorten it... SCS maybe?

“We were in Cairo yesterday,” Nate tells them, T.O. hand shifting surreptitiously to almost massage Wade’s neck. Wade wonders if his healing factor is starting to mess with Nate’s brain, because since when did Nate do that... “I wouldn’t be surprised if that had something to do with it. Yesterday morning, fine, today...”

Scott’s brow furrows. “Why Cairo?”

“Don’t ask,” Wade and Nate say together.

“What about Wiccan, of the Young Avengers?” Beast suggests. “I know he’s just a youngster, but right now there aren’t any other magic users available who would be willing to help you.”

“Sounds good to me,” Wade replies, feeling pretty chirpy now his mind is clear. “You know Fixer’s got naked Avengers painted on the side of his pool?” Oh, those naked Avengers. He’s still meaning to phone and ask who did them so he can persuade Nate to get some for Providence. There must be a swimming pool somewhere on the island.

Nate nods, perfectly deadpan. “Yes Wade. You have mentioned that before.”

Wade shrugs. “Whatever Priscilla. Ruining a perfectly good story...” Putz.

Nate turns to the X-men. “Thank you for all your help. We owe you.” He reaches out to shake hands with each of them in turn. Logan ignores him, but the others accept the handshake, although warily.

“I’ll hold you to that,” Scott tells him.

“I’ll hold you to that,” Wade mimics when he’s not looking, but quietly enough that no-one hears. Well, except for Nate, who smiles in that you’re-not-going-to-get-me-to-laugh way of his.

Nate smiles. “Bodyslide by two.” And they’re gone.


Once Nate and Wade have left, Scott turns to Emma. “What exactly was that thought you ‘weren’t going to ask about’?”

“I don’t think you want to know,” she replies, her voice tinged with laughter.

“Pheromones, bub,” Logan growls. “You should be damn glad you don’t have my nose.”

Scott still looks confused.

“Just think about it for a while,” Beast tells him. “It’s rather obvious.”

Realisation dawns slowly. “Oh my God...”


Nate opens his eyes to the street outside a warehouse – the Young Avengers headquarters. At first it seems deserted, but their arrival seems to have provoked a response; sounds can be heard from inside. Nate glances over at Wade, still worrying about him, although Emma’s work seems to be holding up. He’s had his whole life to learn to cope with his powers; Wade has had only a few hours. Still, the merc seems fine.

“Y’know, this part of the story would be a lot better if the person writing it knew what the Young Avengers headquarters looks like,” Wade says. “When are we going to get back to the sex?”

Nate grins, and heads over to the door. It opens before he has time to knock. The teenager standing there is tall and muscular for his age, with several ear piercings. He scowls at them.

“What do you want?”

Before Nate can explain, another voice pipes up, this time coming from a slimmer boy who pokes his head around his friend. “Hey, you were on the TV weren’t you?” He grins. “You’re that Cable guy.”

“That’s right.” Nate nods. Behind him Wade is spinning a knife in his hand impatiently. It’s no wonder the bulky teen is wary. He’s sure Wade won’t hurt them though. They can’t be much older than fifteen... though at that age he had already been fighting the war for three long years. “We wanted to talk to Wiccan.”

“That’s me,” the smaller kid says, holding up his hand. “And this is Teddy, aka Hulkling. So, what can the Young Avengers help you with?”

“Are you sure we should trust them?” the other asks quietly, still tense.

“I assure you we don’t mean any harm,” Nate replies.

“Scouts honour,” Wade puts in, hand over heart. He sheathes the knife again, but Nate doesn’t need telepathy to know that it doesn’t make the teenagers feel any better.

“Fine,” Hulkling shrugs, clearly not happy about it, but stepping aside anyway. “I don’t like it, but fine.”

They step inside, not sure what to expect.

“So... why d’you need to talk to me?” Wiccan asks, leading them over to an area with seats. Hulkling leans against the wall, watching them. “I mean, most of the time people just come here to tell us that the stuff we do is too dangerous, and we should just go back to being regular kids until we’re older.” The stubborn expression on his face might have been funny if it wasn’t so earnest.

“We have a slight problem... involving magic,” Nate says, feeling a little bit embarrassed for no reason that he can put a finger on.

“Yup,” Wade tells them. “We’ve sort of swapped powers. Normally I would say that was pretty cool, but apparently it’s going to kill us, so, not cool.”

“So... you want me to help you work out how to swap your powers back?” Wiccan looks a little daunted. “Well, I’ll try, but I don’t know... I’ve never done anything like that before.”

Nate waits patiently while the teen closes his eyes, muttering softly under his breath. A soft blue glow seems to surround him, pulsing softly at the edges.

“Hey, you’ve got little blue writing in your speech bubbles!” Wade says happily. “It looks really funky next to my yellow ones!”

Wiccan blinks, opening his eyes. “Uh... what?”

“Ignore him,” Nate tells him.

”Well... basically it’s like this.” Wiccan seems lost for the right words for a couple of seconds. “I don’t really know how this happened, or exactly how to fix it, but the most I can get when I ask my powers how to do that is the feeling that you need to repeat something.”


Wiccan shrugs. “Whatever it was you were doing when your powers switched over.”

Nate spends a few seconds working this out, but Wade beats him too it, chuckling nastily. “Oh fuck, that’s hilarious!”

Nate feels his face heat. “Um...” He’s rarely lost for words, but now is one of those occasions.

Wade is still laughing. “Oh Nate, your face!!”

Wiccan looks from one to the other. “Uh... what were you doing?”

Wade stops laughing long enough to answer him. “Fucking.”

Nate would like nothing more at these point than to bury his head in his hands and die from embarrassment.

Wiccan’s eyes widen, and Hulkling chuckles. “Oh. Um.”

Wade is grinning wickedly under his mask. “So – excuse us while we go and... repeat ourselves.”

“I hate you Wade,” Nate mutters under his breath. Wade just smirks.

“Bodyslide by two!”

[User Picture]From: sarkywoman
2008-04-06 11:13 pm (UTC)

This is brilliant. And aww, a little bit of Wade-whumpage. I like.
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[User Picture]From: gestalt1
2008-04-11 02:36 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :D
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[User Picture]From: foresthouse
2008-05-09 04:32 am (UTC)
Hah! I just found this while looking for Deadpool comms (because I am writing a Deadpool fic too, whee)! This (and the previous part) were hilarious. I'm not really a slash fan, but with C&D it just kind of works, doesn't it? I mean, "Bodyslide by two," really. They practically wrote it into the canon.

Is there a third part to this, or is it not written yet?
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[User Picture]From: gestalt1
2008-05-09 03:57 pm (UTC)
I kept meaning to write a part three but Iron Man came along and mugged me... :( And hence my pr0n muse is stuck on the Avengers setting... Not that I'll actually get around to writing any of that either because of damn procrastination!! DX DX DX

I'll try and write it. Soon. When exam leave starts...
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[User Picture]From: crimsonquills
2008-06-02 09:05 pm (UTC)
I didn't miss the second chapter. *g* I had lots of fun with this one, too. My favorite part was definitely the bit in the middle with Scott asking about the thought that Emma didn't want to ask about. *chortles* Poor Scott! No one should have realizations like that about their (sort of?) son.
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[User Picture]From: gestalt1
2008-06-02 09:10 pm (UTC)
:D :D Poooooor Scott. *laughs at him not-so-secretly*
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